Slice

I went through

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:31:05 GMT

I went through.

Around two o'clock. I started getting everything I needed just after my parents left for the day.

Now I know everything. Much more than I knew before.

It wasn’t a rabbit, it was a hare.

This time, I’m going back for good. It’s so much better there than here – this crummy life. This is my truck. And Jacomo’s amazing. I’m taking Mary Jane’s laptop and her diaries. Not going to leave any trace.

I beg you beg you beg you not to notify my parents. It’ll be better for them if they just think I disappeared into the general weirdness of London, not that I found a gateway to another dimension. If that’s what it is. I’m not sure yet.

Good luck. Be nice to all living creatures, especially hares. They are more important than you know.

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 22:17:31 GMT

I saw the rabbit! A really big, long rabbit.

It came out of the wall, let me repeat that for those at the back, it came out of the wall, crapped a little, then ran out of my room – I followed it – down the stairs, around the corner, out the cat-flap, into the garden.

I went out into the garden, and the lawn was beaten down where the rabbits tracks went – easy to follow. All the way to the back wall where there is a hole, under the ivy, just too narrow for me to get through. It goes into a brick wall and was very dark at ten o'clock at night. I didn't have a flashlight. I wasn't properly equipped. Next time, I will be, I promise.

The bricks are really weak, pink, crumbly and old. English. I'll wait until my parents are out househunting tomorrow morning, then attack it with the hammer I have just found in the utility room.

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:01:53 GMT

Nothing happening today. The smell is worse.

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:18:39 GMT

Went back through Mary Jane's diaries.

Im sure she found something amazing. She changes completely, as they go along. I think it's to do with her books. There's magic in most of them. I think she was doing magic, practical magic, successful magic. And I think I know why she was doing it: to get away from the horrible normal.

Even though Im in her room, and it's all new to me, I can see how it was death to her. Her mattress stinks of boredom. The carpet reaches out little hands of depression, trying to drag me down.

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:43:52 GMT

Ive been thinking about Mary Jane. Feel sadder than yesterday, which was just shock and excitement to start with. Now Im contemplating all the life she isn't going to live, because she wasn't much more than me when she went ker-splat.

Perhaps the best part of it was over – who wants to be twenty-five and, like, settling down? She'll be awfully glamorous to all her friends, being the dead one.

I don't actually know she went ker-splat. That's how I imagine it, thought – the truck hitting the back end of the cab, where Mary Jane's sitting looking absolutely miserable because, poor beeyatch, she's seeing Florida for the first time. And she's realizing that she's either going to have to get lobotomized or start networking with the lost and lonely. It's unbearable to be surrounded by folks who think all the problems of life can be solved. Solved by cardio-vascular workouts. Solved by smiley-God. Solved just by being American. That truck just put her out of her misery, is the way I see it.

Where's my truck?

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 23:01:21 GMT

Everything feels different. It feels a lot more exciting. The stuff in this house isn’t just stuff any more. It’s dead people’s stuff.

On another subject: I think we have rats. Large ones. I found bits of smelly crap on the floor of my/Mary Jane’s bedroom this evening. This may explain the smell of small furry animal. I was hoping for mice.

Is this rat-crap? I took a picture:

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 22:45:19 GMT

Newsflash: This is amazing! Utterly blatant! The mysterious Mary Jane is dead! My God! And her parents who own this house.

They were in a taxi from the airport which got totalled by a truck carrying fish oil. This is in Florida. Apparently some animal ran out in front of the their cab, and the driver swerved to avoid it. (He didn’t die. He was from New Orleans. He’s blaming evil spirits, voodoo, that kind of stuff. Said he’d never seen an animal quite like it before.)

My parents heard from a solicitor, which is kind of a lawyer, who rang up to tell them the sad news. It is sad news, I know. I’m just pretending to be completely overjoyed that something has happened in my godforsaken life! We can stay in the house, until someone finds a reason to kick us out. But that could be years from now.

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 15:29:17 GMT

Age twelve, Mary Jane really liked horses. I mean, she loved them in quite a sick way. I won’t trouble you with the details.

Age thirteen, Mary Jane really liked a boy in her year called Jeremy. I imagine him as Jeremy Fisher by Beatrix Potter. Rubber galoshes. Dancing in puddles. Jeremy does notice her, and they do kiss, but then he goes cold, until the next time they kiss. It continues like this for several months until Mary Jane, after many pages of build-up, asks him to commit. He gives her a ring and that satisfies her, for a while.

Age fourteen, Mary Jane changes. There aren’t many diary entries. Those that are are plain inscrutable:

   January 14th
   Too too special to say.

   January 27th
   Long the long time.

   June 12th
   O Jacomo, O Jacomo.

   June 19th
   Moon-song.

   August 1st
   Flying…

   November 25th
   Hours…

All of these have asterisks next to them, and at the front of the diary it says ‘Asterisks for nights I went through’. There are no more mentions of Jeremy, although it’s possible that he turned into Jacomo overnight.

OMFG Hello Kitty!

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 11:54:34 GMT

I found Mary Jane’s diaries!!!

The spooky doll’s house has a hollow base. I turned it over, slid it out, and the diaries were in there. Just where I would have hidden them when I was fifteen. She is fifteen, and the first one is from three years ago. It is pink, as you see. Hello Kitty. Then she graduates to Emily the Strange. (Is graduates the right word here, do you think?)

Excerpts to follow, when I’ve had a good read of them. Going to do that right now.